Vols Have Reached Unity: Pure as Pi

The Vols entered Saturday night’s contest with its one-dimensional offense.

We left with none.

Vol head coach Derek Dooley and his OC Jim Chaney are going to have to convert Schrodinger's Equation to its dimensionless form in order to craft a strategy for Tennessee's now-undimensional offense.

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According to mathematicians and physicists, a dimensionless quantity is a quantity without an associated physical dimension – it is a “pure” number with a timeless dimension of 1. We are now as pure as ∏ (“pi” for some of you; perhaps “pie” for others).

Of course, not everyone is going to look at us with such admiration.

“Are we close to getting out there and competing against good SEC teams? Not yet… We’ve got 1 and 2 coming in. What do you do? Nobody’s going to feel sorry for Tennessee.” – Derek Dooley

What do Dooley and Chaney know about mathematics and physics? Perhaps they need to hire Schrodinger’s next of kin.

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