Impregnation or coitus interruptus?

Ike was right about the military-industrial complex. Fortunately, he was wrong when he (somewhat) argued that Southeast Asia nations such as Burma, Thailand and Indonesia would fall into the hands of the communists if Indochina went the way of Karl Marx (only in theory, mind you).

Fast-forward to this week and something (more?) important…

On Wednesday, the University of Nebraska hinted that it will join the Big 10.

The University of Colorado followed up on Thursday with a move to the Pac-10.

Oklahoma is rumored to be holding out until Texas makes up its mind, whose fortunes might be linked with Texas A&M and Texas Tech. Or not, as some sources suggest the Sooners are looking to petition the SEC for membership, and Texas A&M is heavily rumored to be headed to our glorious conference, with or without their burnt orange-blooded rival who could be going anywhere from the Pac-10 (-11?, -16?) to the Big 10 (-12?, -16?) to anywhere other than the listing ship known as the not-so-Big XII.

Abraham begat Isaac; and Isaac begat Jacob; and Jacob begat Judah and his brethren…

The conditions that eventually manifest into events can take, years, decades, even generations to develop. But once ripe and ready to bring the baby into a brave new world, the resulting consequences can happen very, very quickly. Here’s what can happen in a single week after decades of an illusion of stability:

On December 25, 1991, Gorbachev resigned as president of the USSR, declaring the office extinct and ceding all the powers still vested in it to the president of Russia: Yeltsin. On the night of that same day, the Soviet flag was lowered for the last time over the Kremlin. Finally, a day later on December 26, 1991, the Council of Republics of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR recognized the dissolution of the Soviet Union and dissolved itself. By December 31, 1991, all official Soviet institutions had ceased operations, as individual republics assumed the central government’s role.

Dominos can fall quickly, leading to an utter implosion of structured institutions.

Are we witnessing the beginning of the end of college football as we have known it for decades? The death of the NCAA’s firm grip on the college game? A move toward a few super-conferences? Will a playoff system be the ultimate result? Or is this just a little reshuffling of traditional conference alignments such as we saw when Arkansas and South Carolina were convinced to join the SEC in 1990?

There have been literally hundreds of articles pass through my Google Reader on this subject. Opinions on realignment have ranged from insignificant change to a complete destruction of the game as we know it.

It will be interesting to see how the SEC gets involved if at all, as if they aren’t already.

Recently, Roy Cramer, former SEC commissioner, arguably the cock-daddy of all of this impending whatever, spoke from his place on a lake in East Tennessee (God bless him).

If the Nebraska domino falls, the Armageddon is out there. Now forget about your conscience and do what’s right for your conference. … You got to look at it from 10 years from now, eight years from now, six years from now.


I’ve rubbed my belly and patted my head until both hurt. My tea leaves all taste like the bitter eventuality of super-conferences forming the inevitable structure of a playoff system. Schools left out will be SOL (Virginia Tech springs to mind). Survival will depend on who is aggressive in making sure their deck chair is included in the rearrangement. Failure will be realized when your chair is found down near the engine room, the smell of exhaust fumes raising the awareness of impending asphyxiation.

Perhaps as quickly as the USSR dissolved into separate autonomous states, the new face of college football will appear with a lot of surprises.

But before it fully manifests in all its glory, it’s going to be one big rumble in the sack for a while. Impregnation or coitus interruptus? That is the question with no answer as of yet.

As Van The Man once sang,

I said oh, oh domino / Roll me over Romeo / There you go / Lord have mercy / I said oh, oh domino.


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3 responses to “Impregnation or coitus interruptus?”

  1. Ben Bartley says :

    Bit out of the loop, but who do you think would join A&M if that does indeed happen? Texas, Oklahoma, some other team? Would OU join without Okie State?

    • norcalvol says :

      Ben, I believe that A&M and Texas will go to their final resting place as a pair, even though press reports cast the Longhorns as the prima donna narcissist in this play. OU may like to think that they are an important player, but their problem is their state being a bit out of any major media market (it’s been argued that Colorado’s entrance to the Pac-10 was more about the Denver market than the Buff’s themselves). As far as Okie State go, they may be one of the SOL schools – OU is their biggest rival, but the Cowboys are not OU’s biggest (that place is reserved for Texas). Their relationship reminds me of UNC and NC State: State’s biggest rival is Carolina; but UNC’s is Duke.
      In the end, I’m hoping/predicting that OU-Texas-A&M remain together, wherever that is. Okie State could easily end up in some irrelevant remnant of the Big XII or the Mountain West.
      Armageddons are never tidy – this version may render geographic relationships irrelevant.
      Update: Texas’ Board of Regents is meeting Tuesday June 15 to address their path.
      Thanks for reading.

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