The Revolving Door Keeps Whirling

In a stunning development this morning, Tennessee head football coach Derek Dooley reportedly handed in his resignation to UT Athletic Director Mike Hamilton. Dooley did not indicate reason or destination, but said that he would be submitting his $4 million buyout fee by the end of the upcoming weekend.

In an equally stunning development, the university plans to announce that Hamilton is no longer the Athletic Director, presumably due to his hiring of Dooley in January, and the school will be using the $4 million buyout fee to hire a replacement. Sources close to Vols in the Fall indicate that the new AD will be Al Davis, current owner of the NFL Oakland Raiders.

Although not officially confirmed, it is considered likely that Davis’ first agenda item will be to replace Dooley with Lane Kiffin. The second item on Al’s agenda is reported to be firing Kiffin immediately after his hiring so that Mr. Davis can have another go at the beleaguered Kiffin, both via public humiliation by firing, and in the courts where Davis will argue breach of contract (redux).

The instant karmic result of these unbelievable events appears to involve the current Vol football squad members who are planning a walkout.

This day of quasi-fantasy leaves us with the unfathomable prospect of the Vols not fielding a team for the 2010 season opener against UT-Martin. This would send seismic waves of uncertainty through the SEC and NCAA offices.

But, no worries—we’ll just pretend we’re Kentucky in September by longing for the basketball season to start.

Film at eleven. Bulletins at once.

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One response to “The Revolving Door Keeps Whirling”

  1. Jan Evett says :

    HA! Happy April Fool’s Day to you, too! ;)

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